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tired and...

...new idea.

from now on, i'm doing homework EARLY. that was such a long read, man. I had to read 3 articles for US History in the book, about various things. and the class is tomorrow that's why it's so intense.

i was about to fall asleep right there 'n then...but then I got through it, sometimes i thought of ellie and how i can never make myself feel 'open' when i'm around her..but - ahhh..i don't know how to feel either.

currently: spoon wizard - me and spoonice [blue effet mix]

what else was I going to say?

hmm, well oh yea!

do you ever feel like you can't go a day without seeing your friends? it is like that for me, recently..and more often now. I can never feel good anymore being alone. I feel the need for human interaction and communication. I desperately want to get out of my house every day. I have made a few friends in the dale city area, one of them is jeff lives very close, less than 5 minute drive..and there's also chris lives a little further away. they're not too far, yet I feel like i need to see each of these people everyday, every minute. i feel so - alone, there's this feeling of loneliness that is stemming from me and i can't explain.

i try to preoccupy myself with music and movies, but that does not help much. i need to get out and photograph, and i...

i can't even explain myself right here. it's so bad that it's gone to that point where no words can describe my feelings now.

unfortunately.

wish i had a person close to me i could share all my feelings with.

Iggz,
I used to feel the same about myself for sooooo many years. Now I can sit in my house by myself and feel good. You know why? Because I discovered the secret to curing that sort of loneliness:complete love for yourself. It took me a long time to realize that my social life was a crutch for insecurity.I used to place incredible value in people who didn't care about me. To submerge the pain. Once my life turned upside down 2 years ago, i reassessed my place in the world. And you'll find your place. Peace.

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